So, I’m literally sitting in bed right now. It’s about 6 pm. It’s raining outside and I have a glass of wine by my side…
This is the REAL entrepreneur lifestyle. That’s what keeps flowing through my mind. A part of me needs to wind down and another part needs to amp up. It’s a constant battle! And one I love… Let’s face it ;)
I just posted a picture of this scene on Instagram with the #entpreneurlifestyle and I’m watching the likes come in faster than anything I’ve EVER posted. It resonates with others! So the part of me that needs to amp up (even if I am sitting in bed with a glass of wine) decided to post something.
The first post in a long time, on this site.
I recently cleared this entire site of blog posts, content and everything else. I’d had enough. I was bored with it all. SO bored. So, so bored. It wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I hated getting up in the morning and everything feeling hazy and unsure.
But I just couldn’t bring myself to keep on promoting the business in the same way. I needed MORE. I needed to amp it up. I needed to clarify, connect, rebuild, recreate, retaliate… against all the small thinking that had led to my business feeling messy and unkempt in the first place.
I needed to clean up before I could amp up. And that “cleaning up” turned into a complete burning down of everything I’d spent 10 years building up.
Welcome to the real world! Where you have the right, and maybe even the responsibility (to yourself) to just get real about what is and isn’t working.
It was enlightening.
I shifted my focus from just coaching, to sharing a much broader, more authentic message. All about creating abundance, but different elements of that journey for different people at different stages.
I was trying to keep it simple.
But it wasn’t. The journey isn’t. And I can’t pretend that it is.
My journey has been pretty insane, really.
The psychic awakening, working with a healer who was kinda crazy (I found out that everyone else who’d gone to work for her had a nervous breakdown of some kind… saved by the bell there!), starting my own business, going bankrupt, changing it UP, not settling, not listening to others, learning how I needed to be… still learning.
Why wasn’t I sharing the REAL story! Why was I pretending to be ok with it all? Why wasn’t I leading others through their own quagmire of shit on their own journey? Why was I not keeping it real?
It felt like it needed to be shared. People give up so easily. And along the way, I’d learned how NOT to. Why was I keeping that to myself?
Some days all you’ve got is to sit in bed with a glass of wine and ponder a few things. And with THAT comes the ideas, the inspiration, the thoughts that will lead to the next thing.
I really had no concept of how this site would look until an hour ago. I had an idea about what needed to be on the site. But how did it look, how did it feel, what was I saying here? What would kickstart the journey for others? What would cause them to be inspired enough to never give up on what they wanted?
F*&^ if I know…
I just had to sit back for a moment, wait for the moment, follow my intuition, realize the potential, connect with the idea that being an entrepreneur is about keeping it real! Whew! All it took was a glass of wine and an Instagram post.
It’s not about pushing, and being perfect, and being organized all the time. These things make, in my experience, tend to make you weak because they’re fake. You can’t lead a clean* life and you can’t build a clean* business.
(*Clean: to be perfect, not fuck up, make no mistakes, and generally not fall in the mud face first. Because you will. And you just can’t avoid it.)
It’s about following your inner calling. And it’s about a little bit a hustle too. YOU have to be the leader because it’s your life and your business. YOU have to make it work.
So what makes YOU work? What leads YOU? What makes you sing in the shower and dance when you’re home alone?
Start there. Then learn to laugh at yourself. Then learn to respect yourself. Then learn to listen to and follow that inner voice instead of your ego.
You’ll love it. And if you don’t, there’s no harm done, you can always get a day job and go back to being happy…
Stay tuned. More to come.